I Got Dressed Up for Him… And His Response Was NOT It
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You know that moment when you put in real effort—shaved your legs, picked the perfect outfit, did the whole glam routine—and then your partner barely reacts? Maybe a half-hearted “Oh, you look nice” while they barely glance up from their phone?
Yeah. That.
It’s the worst, right? You go from feeling confident and excited to questioning everything. Did I overdo it? Was I expecting too much? Am I just completely invisible??
Before you spiral, let’s talk about what’s actually happening here. Because there’s a good chance this isn’t just about your outfit—it’s about something called covert expectations… and oh boy, do they love to ruin a good night.
What the Heck Are Covert Expectations?
Covert expectations are those little unspoken hopes we place on our partners (or anyone, really). The problem? They don’t even know they exist.
Let’s break it down:
Explicit expectation: "Hey babe, I want to go out tonight. Can you get dressed up with me?"
Implicit expectation: "I’m getting dressed up, and I hope he’ll match my energy."
Covert expectation: "I’m going to get all glammed up, and I expect him to immediately stop what he’s doing, be completely obsessed with me, shower me in compliments, and make me feel like a goddess."
See the issue? Covert expectations set us up for disappointment because we assume our partners should just know what we want. And when they don’t deliver, we feel ignored, unappreciated, or even rejected.
Why Do Covert Expectations Mess With Us So Much?
Because we take them personally.
When our partner doesn’t react how we hoped, our brain goes straight to worst-case scenario:
✔ He doesn’t find me attractive anymore
✔ I’m not enough
✔ He doesn’t care about me like he used to
But in reality? He probably has zero idea what you were expecting. Maybe he was distracted. Maybe he genuinely thought “cute” was a compliment (men, we need to talk). Maybe he’s just clueless.
This isn’t about them not loving you. It’s about a lack of communication.
How to Break the Cycle & Get What You Actually Want
Here’s the game-changer: say it out loud.
Instead of setting yourself up for disappointment, let them in on the plan:
💬 “Babe, I’m dressing up tonight and I want to feel extra sexy. Can you hype me up when I come out?”
💬 “Hey, I want to feel special tonight. Can you make me feel like a queen when I get ready?”
💬 “I’m putting in effort and I’d love for you to notice.”
See how easy that is? Now they know exactly what you need, and they can show up for you the right way.
What Happens When You Start Speaking Up?
At first, it might feel weird. Vulnerable even. There’s always that little voice saying, “Shouldn’t he just know??”
But once you practice this, you’ll notice:
✨ You feel less resentful
✨ Your partner actually steps up
✨ You get your needs met without the drama
✨ You feel more connected instead of silently stewing in disappointment
And honestly? Your confidence will skyrocket when you start owning what you want instead of waiting for someone to guess.
Final Thoughts—No More Guessing Games
Relationships aren’t a mind-reading contest. If you want something, ask for it. If you need reassurance, say so. If you want your partner to drop the “cute” and go full “damn, you’re a goddess” mode, give them the roadmap.
Let’s stop setting ourselves up for disappointment and start getting what we actually need. Because you, my friend, deserve to be seen.
Now go rock that outfit—and tell him exactly how to react. 😘
